ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
