If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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