Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
