Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
