Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
