I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
