please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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