i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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