Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
