She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
