omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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