Who wears a wallet chain?!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
