; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
