So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
