cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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