When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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