i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
