Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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