You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
