i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
