Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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