i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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