I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
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