the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
This baby is an asshole
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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