I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
