yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
