how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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