i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I have aggressive nipples.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
