I want to have your abortion
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
