Only a mothe r could love this liver
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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