I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
