It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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