Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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