i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
