i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
