Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
