oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
