I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
