what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
