Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
