Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
