the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
