Duck Duck Cougar?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
