I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
