I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
then he tried to convert me to islam
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
