with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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