using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
