I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
This toilet bowl is my home.
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