In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
