somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Will exercising make me less horny?
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